By Lucy Drinkwater
Being a fresher means having to live with people who, under normal circumstances, you would get off the bus
early to avoid. Due to the abundance of stationery and the general filth of student life, a certain amount of post-it
based feuding just goes with the territory.
However, there are other ways! SPG gives you our top four alternative flat-mate-conflict resolution methods!
Buy an owl
You could all club together and buy an owl! It could fly from room to room reminding people to do the washing up!
Pros: You’d be just like Harry Potter!
Cons: There would be owl poo all over the floor.
SMS
In this high tech age, why not hide your conflicts behind the comforting electronic glow of a phone screen?
Pros: You don’t have to actually speak to anyone.
Cons: As a broke student, you probably don’t have the money to waste on texts to people you probably hate.
Hire a mime
Don’t want to talk? Express your grumpiness about someone taking your clothes out of the dryer without asking first, by hiring some weirdo in white make up to pretend he’s trapped in a box for a few hours!
Pros: Will mess with your flatmates’ heads.
Cons: Where on earth do you go to hire a mime?
Talk
You’re a grown-up now, living away from home. Why can’t we just be civil, organise a house meeting and talk about this like normal human beings?
Pros: Your mum would approve.
Cons: No-one has actually done this successfully in the entire history of the universe. Good luck. You’re going to need it.
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