Future Talent Awards

UGH THIRD YEAR.

As a fresher and even a second year, you were pre-warned of the horrors that final year would bring. You didn’t really take any notice did you? Too distracted by the cheap tequila shots and the Prison Break marathons in your jammies weren’t you? Too busy making fancy dress costumes from cereal boxes and shoddy glitter to prepare yourself was it? It’s a shock ain’t it. That third year you spotted in the library blubbing, when you were a rosy-cheeked fresher full of life and vigour?? Well that is now you. You have officially gone from Happy Hour to your darkest hour. How does it feel?

But how third year are you exactly? Some are worse than others. Some of my third-year friends are still on the razz four times a week, dressing up in neon legwarmers and shimmying till their hearts content. Whereas I, on the other hand, am having to put my coursework on the radiator to air out – due to excess crying.

So I have made a handy quiz to find out how ‘third year’ you are. Please tick all that apply to you (but do it in your head, laptops are expensive).

P.s if you are not in third-year, this will still be a useful quiz to do a) to prepare yourself for the horrors that lie ahead, or b) to cheer yourself up in this end of January slump.

Abodus - Live until 29th Sep 24

1) People asked how your Christmas was and you had to make up exuberant stories to tell because you actually spent it doing an assignment.

2) You have a favourite computer in the library.

3) You recognise other library-sufferers, so you now say hello and nod your head a bit, whenever you see them.

4) You have thought about and questioned the library’s ceiling.

5) You don’t snapchat about your library visit anymore because everyone knows where you are.

6) You can’t remember the last time you went on a night out.

7) Actually, you can but you spent the whole night feeling guilty. You tried to dance to Trey Songz waving your vodka and coke in air, but all you could think was ‘148300 more words to go’

8) You have left pre-drinks to go home and carry on with an essay (completely trollied).

9) You have recently googled ‘jobs that don’t need a degree’.

10) You are so tired you now look up synonyms for ‘big’ and ‘good’ often

11) You spend more money on food. Hey, you deserve that M&S banana bread if you’re gonna be working so hard pet.

12) You have a 9:15am lecture timetabled and you actually attend.

13) You have referred to freshers as ‘those bloody freshers tskk’ recently

14) You want to read The Girl on the Train, but you can’t because it’s not on your reading list.

15) You spend more time with your lecturers more than your actual friends.

16) You can’t wait till all this work is over…. so you can nap for a few weeks.

17) Everyone and anyone ask, ‘so, what are your plans for after uni?’ while you try and formulate a response without exploding into messy heap of confusion and shame.

18) You have a potentially life-threatening (probably) addiction to caffeine.

19) You’ve contacted previous third years and asked them for advice #help but no, seriously.

20) You hate anyone who has secured a grad-scheme already and fantasise about kicking them in the shins.

If you have ticked 10 or less – You are not third year at all. Grow up.

If you have ticked 11 or more – Congrats! You are a proper third year! Yippeeee…

If you have ticked them all (like me) – You have won the quiz! Life is officially terrible! Your prize is carrying on with these horrendous conditions till the end of May. You’re welcome. 

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