If there’s one person out there who’s having a more stressful Monday than you, it’s got to be celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsay; the guy practically breathes anguish as anger flows through his veins and makes that big one on his forehead throb with rage. No one has to put up with more BS than he does! So what better person to perfectly represent how terrible the start of your week is?
7:30 – The Alarm
Is there a more harrowing sound than the sound of your alarm bell shrilling on a Monday morning? It triggers a rage deep down you didn’t even know existed, quickly followed by internal screaming, crying, and pondering on how badly do you really need this job? I bet chef Ramsay knows the feeling.
8:30 – The Commute
If you walk to work – congratulations. But if traffic is a daily annoyance for you, then Monday is just the absolute worst, because every other driver is also in a pretty vile mood. Could you imagine Gordon stuck in traffic? No thanks. You sit there in your car thinking about that scene from Bruce Almighty when he splits the traffic and wishing you could do the same.
9:00 – The Arrival
“Good morning!” Please don’t. Cheesy coworkers on a Monday is a mild form of torture – we get it, Brenda, you love life more than we do. You make a beeline for the coffee machine and get yourself an espresso before slowly making your way to your work station whilst trying to avoid as many “how was your weekend” questions as you can.
11:00 – Break Time
Longest two hours of your life, right? Monday mornings are always the slowest, and by the time break rolls around – you’re ready to call it a day. But just like Gordon Ramsay, you’ve got work to do regardless of how moody it’s making you. You contemplate pulling a sicky, but that’s just frowned upon so you make another beeline for the coffee machine. A flat white is a good option.
1:00 – Lunch Time
The best part of the day (besides going home) is obviously whipping out that cheap pot noodle you packed this morning. You know it’s bad for you, but you lack motivation on a Sunday evening to even consider making yourself a decent sandwich for work the following day. You’ve eaten so many pot noodles recently that, to be honest, you’re starting to fall for them. “Do you know how bad they are for you?” I’m here for a good time, not a long time, Susan.
3:00 – The Afternoon Slump
Another two hours to go? It might as well be two weeks! You make one last bee-line for the coffee machine where you grab yourself a strong latte to get you through the last leg of the day. This is also around the same time a coworker of yours starts getting on your nerves with all the stories about their last weekend. Honestly, I couldn’t care less, Dave.
5:00 – Home Time
By 5:01 you’re already back in your car and speeding off into the sunset with your tunes blaring out the stereo – the worst part of the week is done. And although Tuesdays are pretty terrible, you’re just glad Monday is over and done with. I bet chef Ramsay has a pretty similar feeling after leaving the set of Hell’s Kitchen.