The Student Pocket Guide | Danny Dyer interview
How did you get your break?
I think me big break was Human Traffic really. I’ve been acting since I was a kid but Human Traffic was when I really got a chance to express myself.
How did you get the part in Human Traffic?
Just auditioned for it, I’ve been acting since I was 14 so it’s just a part that came along and I wanted it so badly man. It’s such a naughty script, I thought I wanna be apart of that so I nicked the part.
Moff came across an embarrassing moment where his mum caught him wanking in his room... What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you?
Erm…Er, I dunno where to start son. Jesus Christ, erm I’ve been caught wanking as well, don’t worry about that. Yeah by me mother you know what I mean. Not quite as bad as that on me knees like in Human Traffic with me liver out and all that but yer know I’ve been caught having a peddle, yeah you don’t need that.
Name your 3 top celebrity Muppets?
Jeff Brazier, he’s an absolute stream the geezer, Paul Denan and Shane Richie.
So has Peter Andre gone up in your books?
(Laughs) He’s alright Peter, he’s alright, he’s sweet as a nut him, dozy as arsewholes aint he.
What’s the best club you have been to?
Manumission, Ibiza. It’s great man. Naughty gaf you know all the f**kin on the stage and that, I loved it!
Favorite tune?
Columbia, Oasis
Blondes, brunettes or gingers?
Erm…Don’t matter to me, whatever, I’m not fussy.
Which character have you most enjoyed playing in all your films?
A film that hasn’t been released yet, a film I did with Gillian Anderson called Straightheads. It’s great man, a right naughty film. It comes out in Feb next year. Basically I turn into a f**kin Psychopath, I lose an eye in the film so I gotta run about with a white eye an a big naughty mars bar (scar) down me boat (boat race, face). It’s a right nutty part man, I’m really excited about it. It’s been the biggest one for me, no ones seen it yet though.
Which has been the closest to you in real life?
Moff from Human Traffic. Listen what I do is a certain thing, yer know I think I play myself to an extent, I think that’s what all actors do, I think that’s all you can do. So there’s an element of me in all of the roles I play. But probably at that time in my life in 97 when I did Human Traffic, that was me man out of me nut.
You must have to really get into each character you play… Have you hung out with any gangsters or football hooligans? If so, what was it like?
Listen I’m out in East London in the flats, I was brought up with it, it’s just the world I live in. I’m f**kin surrounded by em. I’m still on the manor as well, I need to get out now, I’ve had enough of it. I’m a West Ham fan as well so I know the score with the ICF (Inter City Firm). I’ve always swerved it though to be honest. I got a clump at a young age and I went the other way, I thought b****cks, I don’t fancy it. I got a clump off a 30 year old Leeds fan, knocked me spark out, I was only 13. That made me think. It’s great to be able to pretend, it’s the great thing about my job. I love the fact that you can pretend and walk away at the end of the day. It was a great job, I don’t think many actors could have pulled it out of the bag, I don’t think many actors had the b****cks to do the part. I took a lot of clumps on the film, I took a few chinnings, I got kicked in the f**king ribs and sh*t like that. But I just had to get on with it yer know.
Whilst filming ‘The Real Football Factories’ have you ever found yourself in any trouble?
I’m getting a few death threats from a few Rangers fans at the moment. Listen, its a cagey subject. I did it, my agent didn't want me to do it but I thought you know what coz of The Football Factory I’m gonna do it man. For six weeks I had to walk about travelling the country talking to naughty c***s. I got away with it and that’s down to the film more than anything else. I played the character where I represent these people and where they come from. So I basically had to be Tommy Johnson through out but at the same time I had to be Mr. Neutral yer know, coz I’m an actor at the end of the day I cant give to much away. But they was all sweet man, they was all sweet as a nut. I mean it’s hard work walking into a pub full of 60 hooligans and getting an interview out of em mate I tell yer what. They just asked me to do a second series man but I f**ked it off. I don’t wanna milk it, I’m an actor not a presenter yer know. It was a cool show and I think we got away with it but no more for me man, no more!
What did you think of this years world cup?
It upset me, like it does every four years. I really believed in us this year, I really thought we had a shot. But you know what, f**kin Cristiaono Ronaldo. If any Man Utd fans tries to give it to me again I’m just gonna go, go away from me you soppy c**t with that c**t kissing your shirt every week. That snake! There was a lot of diving and sh*t. Tell you what I liked when Zidane head butted that geezer. I thought that was quite funny, I liked that.
How would you have reacted if you were in Zidanes shoes?
I wouldn’t have done nothing right, coz he f**king naused it right. I would have waited until after the game and punched him right in the mouth the geezer. Just as the final whistle goes and we win on penalties, I’d just walk up to him and smack him right in the f**kin mouth, b****cks to him. He done the wrong thing and he got sent off. They lost to that Mataratzi. He got away with it man, he sorted it out, he done what he wanted to achieve really.
Have you ever acted in a scene you didn’t want to?
Yes man, I had to play a queer in a film called Borstal Boy. It was a good part but there was one scene, I got a kissing scene. My part I play in I’m an Iron (iron hoof, poof) right. But I absolutely love this geezer. I just wanna f**kin kiss him so it’s a right big moment for me this f**king kiss, so I gotta put it on that c**t. He’s a Yankee fella with ginger f**king stubble man, it was a horrible moment. The only way you gotta do it man is by going in 150%. If you started getting half hearted about it, it only makes it worse. But I'll never forget it, I can still f**kin feel that texture man. It done me nut in, it was on me nut for weeks afterwards man. Listen you gotta do it man it’s part of the game, you gotta earn your stripes. I did it and it was f**kin horrendous, but it was a good part, I’m glad I done it really.
Are there any roles you wouldn’t play?
I would never play a nonce, not in a million years. Don’t wanna go there, don’t wanna f**king go there to be fair. You could give me £12mill and I wouldn’t play a nonce.
Any roles you would like to play?
I’d like to be James Bond. I’d like to f**king have a crack at the Bond mate when I get a bit older you know what I mean. A cockney Bond, why not? B****cks to it! You know Daniel Craig is a good friend of mine and he’s a great actor, he’s gonna be the best Bond I tell yer. All these c***s moaning about him on the internet are going to become severely unstuck.
Tell us a secret about yourself…
I like the Antiques Road Show.
What’s the most bizarre thing you have witnessed?
When I was a youngster I saw a fella smash his motor bike into a lamppost right. He was brown bread (brown bread, dead), his legs were all over the road and all that. I was on my mounting bike and came round the corner and see it man. That f**king knocked the c**t out of me that, I can still f**king smell it. It was heavy man, before the old bill got there and everything. I just f**king happened to come around the corner and this c**t smashed into a lamppost, dead mate! Flesh all up the lamppost man... Heavy, heavy sh*t. God Rest in peace the fella.
Are you working on a film we don't yet know about?
Just made a great film about that by the way called the Outlaw, it’s gonna come out next year. It’s basically about a group of geezers running about killing nonce’s man. It’s great...I f**king lovvved it!
Can you tell us more about it…
Outlaw, it’s great man, there’s Sean Bean, Nick love, I mean I’m four films in with him now, Nick Love. It’s like we got a real f**king partnership going on now and he always uses me as his lead actor. It’s a real f**king result for me. But this one, it puts all his other films in the bin mate. Football Factory, The Business...forget about it. This outlaw...It’s got Bob Hoskins in it, Sean Bean, Lenny James. It’s about our times man, the f**king world were living in now, how f**ked this world is. With f**king suicide bombers and you know birds who can walk home through a park and get a hammer across the back of their f**king canister and not even get raped or mugged, and the geezers not getting caught. It’s just a f**king violent world we are living in and it’s about a group of geezers that sit down and go yer know what, f**k the old bill, lets try and do something about it, lets try and make a difference, lets try and right a few wrongs. It’s very violent man, it’s naughty, basically we run about with balaclava’s called the outlaws and we do weird sh*t. The thing about it man, it’s trying to say something about our country at the moment. Every day you open the newspaper and read about a sex beast that’s raped a three month old kid, or someone who has got bird flu with only 18 months to live. What the f**k is that about? Why do we suffer that though? Why do we as a f**king country suffer that? That’s bollocks man. So Nick Love's trying to show that, he likes a bit of controversy the boy, so he’s really f**king gone for it this time. It’s gonna put a few noses out of joint I tell yer that now.
What about the new film 'Severance'?
Severance man, it’s a great f**king film. It’s a horror film man, I’ve never done a horror before, I fancied a bit of horror you know what I mean. But this is a right quality one, it aint shitty. It’s not monsters, it’s f**king terrorists. It’s about a proper group of geezers getting f**king killed by terrorists, chasing us through the woods and that. It’s a really good f**king film man, I tell yer what, they think its gonna fly, they’re really excited about it. It was a mad part for me as well coz I got to show a bit of range. I got quite a funny character in it so I got a bit of comedy at the beginning. But I’m the c**t that survived at the end, I’m the one running along with a f**king limp with no teeth, smothered in claret you know what I mean. So it’s high energy acting man, it’s tough, but it’s rewarding. I’m really intrigued to see if it does well, I hope it does man.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Me double chin. For some reason I got a big double chin. But recently I’ve noticed I’m getting a bit of a joust right, and I’m a skinny c**t. So a skinny c**t with a double chin is a mad thing. It’s only since I’ve noticed it on screen and sh*t I’m having to start holding me head up a bit. So I’d let to get rid of me double f**king chin please.
Has fame changed you in any way?
Not at all. I’m in East London out in the flats. I’m just very lucky I think that I’ve found my talent at a young age. I love it man, I love acting and it comes f**king naturally to me. I mean there are a lot of people that don’t find their talent for what ever reason. I know a lot of people that would be great actors man but they just didn’t go down that route. So I’m just lucky I’m doing a job that I love man. It’s only recently where I’m really getting famous and I’m getting to the point where everyone knows who I am. It’s a bit overwhelming I gotta say. If I’m out of me nut I lap it up and I have photos and I’m sweet, but I’m actually quite a shy person, I’m quite a bit paranoid. Everyone’s good though, everyone’s sweet, I gotta say that! People have come up to me and called me a legend and sh*t like that. Which is heavy, but it’s like f**k me man I’m not a legend at all! People say that to yer but you gotta keep yer f**king nut about yer. If you start believing your own hype man you’re gonna lose the plot severely. The day I start walking about thinking I’m a legend is the day I land into trouble basically. But it’s all good man, it’s nice. I never get any aggravation from it, I must say that. Everyone’s always pleased to see me and sh*t but who knows man, who knows. I’m lucky with the paparazzi, I don’t get none of that really. I don’t go to them sort of clubs anyway. I don’t have em outside my house, they leave me alone for what ever reason. If they started getting on me case I don’t know if I’d be able to handle that to be honest. That would drive me insane. I know I’m in the game, it comes with the territory and all that but I’m hoping I’m gonna be one of those actors that they just swerve. I hope I can earn me bit of dough, do good films and crack on and not get in no trouble and not be in the papers and all that b****cks.
What’s your favourite pie and mash shop?
There’s a couple, but probably the one in Camden Town. Actually I fancy a bit of Pie and Mash so I might get a bit later.
To watch the live UNCUT video interview with Danny Dyer click here
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