So the big day is here; Valentine’s Day and you have a date. If you are one of those lucky people who wake up on the day of their date in a Disney film, (you know the drill, singing birds, baby deer frolicking, and perfect hair) then lucky you. If like the rest of us, you wake up in a cold nervous sweat, do not worry. Here are 5 do’s and 5 don’ts to ensure that you have a perfect, panic-free date!
DO… Look the part.
No one is going to enjoy a date when they don’t feel like they look good! Depending on where you are going, I recommend smart/casual. Enough to show that you have made the effort, but also bear in mind that you are not going out on Friday night with the girls/lads. Likewise, you don’t want to be too smart. This is a date, not an official interrogation by MI5.
DON’T… Try too hard to be sexy!
The temptation to amp up the flirtatious behaviour and coy glances is more than a little bit tempting. Valentines Day is intoxicating; there are heart decorations everywhere, cupids, and romantic music… But just because it is Valentine’s Day, does not mean that you should suddenly become a comical version of yourself and try too hard. Your date is there with you, because they like YOU! Not the curious Marilyn Monroe accent that you seemed to have developed over night…
DO… Embrace the butterflies and breathe.
Rather than seeing the butterflies in your stomach as cringe-inducing nerves, see them as excitement!
When you’re getting ready, listen to some chilled out music, keep your room cool (this will also help you to avoid any unattractive sweat marks you might be getting from sitting in a hot room and panicking), and take some deep breaths. Everyone is going to feel more than a little bit nervous, so don’t worry about it! Chances are your date is nervously pacing the floor at this very moment too…
DON’T be too aware of ‘awkward’ silences.
The chances are there will definitely be a momentary lapse in conversation. Do. Not. Worry. This naturally happens in conversations when they end, even if it’s a conversation with your best friend! Don’t panic and talk through the silence, you may find yourself telling a story about walking in on your dad in the shower earlier… Yeah, now it’s more awkward. Rest assured, the conversation will pick up again. And if there are any silences, smile at your date and show that you aren’t worrying
DO… Something casual for your date if it makes you comfortable.
Just because it is Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean there has to be a ton of extra pressure on the date. It would be sweet to give a funny card or a little gift, but other than that, do not feel that it is vital for there to be champagne and oysters (who even likes oysters anyway?!). If you want to go for a quiet stroll in the park and a coffee then that is fine!
DON’T… Exaggerate and try to impress your date.
We are all guilty of it; you are trying to impress someone so you slightly exaggerate a few stories and make them exciting. Isn’t it cool how your dad is in the record industry and is best friends with Bono?! Oh you mean he doesn’t actually know Bono… See where I’m going with this? Furthermore, if you and your date develop things into a relationship, any awkward twisting of the truth may be revealed. Let’s avoid that, and keep things real and simple.
DO… have a few topics of conversation in mind before you arrive.
I am in no way suggesting that the date should be like an awkward read-through of a rom-com script, with you delivering over-rehearsed questions… Simply have a few things ready to ask, not only does this show a genuine interest in your date, but it can also fill any potential silences.
DON’T… Fake it!!!
If your date is a huge heavy metal fan, and that is all they like to talk about, then great. If you can’t tell Metallica from Pearl Jam, don’t pretend that you can! If you realise quickly that you and your date do not actually have that much in common, and that the spark isn’t ‘there’, do not see it as a failure. You had a good experience, but you weren’t compatible. It happens, and it is fine!
DO… Be you, be confident, and smile!
So the date is going well, you feel confident and happy. Smile! Let your date know how much you are enjoying their company, by smiling and subtle body language; be flirty and complimentary, subtly touch their hand or shoulder. I don’t mean start smiling manically and scaring your date by suddenly grabbing their hand in a vice grip… If the chemistry is there, everything will fall into place naturally!
DON’T… Talk about ex-boyfriends/girlfriends.
There is nothing more uncomfortable than being on a date, and listening to the other person wax lyrical about an ex. You will desperately find yourself wondering if this person is actually over their ex. If you find your ex is relevant to conversation, mention it once light-heartedly and then move on. Do not launch into the sorry tale of how the relationship ended. Trust me, your date is not quite ready to hear about it, especially on Valentine’s Day!
Written by Sophia Milone.