Festival Scenarios | The Student Pocket Guide
Illustrations by Stephen Ong
www.stephenong.co.uk
With festival season upon us, and thousands of us up and down the country getting ready to spend our weekends jumping around in a field, we thought we would take the time to illustrate to you some of the scenarios that you’re likely to encounter this summer…
DRINK DISASTER
We all know what it’s like… You’ve been standing around for hours, both tired and hungry, but it’s all worth it because you’ve finally got to see your favourite band! At least, you saw about two minutes of them before a pint of beer hit you square in the face, leaving you completely drenched for the rest of the set. Still, no point moping about it – why not wear a waterproof poncho to minimize the chances of getting wet?
TOILET TRAGEDY
Easily the worst thing about festivals is the toilet situation. There are several contributing factors to this, from the smell, to the sight, to the fact that whoever used the stall before you seemed to aim everywhere but the actual toilet. But there will always be that moment when you look round after doing your business and…dun, dun, dunnn…the toilet roll is nowhere to be seen! It truly is the stuff of nightmares. Remember people, always keep a roll handy!
MUDSLIDE MISHAP
When you’re festivaling in the UK, it’s usually a safe bet that you’re going to see a large amount of mud. When this happens, you have two choices; 1. Pack wellies, waterproofs and run at the first sight of trouble; 2. Embrace that big pool of brown goop! Dive in, go for a slide, have a mud fight – the possibilities are endless. If you’re going to get muddy, you might as well make the most of it!
TENT TROUBLE
Fact: Whoever came up with the phrase, ‘like finding a needle in a haystack’, was trying to find his tent at Reading Festival at one in the morning. Even with a good sense of direction, a clear head and a flagpole sticking out of your porch, tent hunting is not for the light hearted. Before embarking on your search, remember to bring a compass, a hearty lunch and a pack mule, just to be sure.
