Top 10 Awful Song Lyrics | The Student Pocket Guide
by Eliot Hastie

Some of these songs have lyrics that are physically painful to listen to, whilst some of them just plain don’t make sense. Be warned, this list of our top 10 awful song lyrics really is, well, terrible…

1. ‘Friday’ by Rebecca Black

I had almost cleansed this song from my mind. It has earnt its place as the worst song ever and for that matter the worst song lyrics to listen to. Just everything about it is bad, I can’t even pick a line I dislike, it’s just all of it.

2. ‘Firework’ by Katy Perry

I love Katy Perry and I love this song but that first line, “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind wanting to start again”. Yes, I get the American beauty reference, but really? I doubt a bag feels much to be honest and I certainly wouldn’t want to feel like one.

3. ‘My Humps’ by the Black Eyed Peas

Not sure whether this song contains just awful lyrics or is simply plain offensive. As with Rebecca Black, this song hasn’t been thought about at all. I would narrow it down but I just can’t. It may be fun to sing to, but honestly, “My humps, my lovely lady lumps, check it out”, are not really lyrics but more a pick up line. A terrible one at that too.

4. ‘Red Solo Cup’ by Toby Keith

When I first heard this song (yes, on Glee) I thought it was a joke. Like, no-one could seriously have written this song – how wrong I was. “Red solo cup, I feel you up. Let’s have a party/ I love you red solo cup”. You’re a country singer Toby, sing about women and the ranch. Not about a inanimate object unless the whole thing is an analogy in which case, carry on.

5. ‘Figured You Out’ by Nickelback 

I am a defender of Nickelback; I don’t think they deserve all the hate. In saying that, this song kind of promotes sexual exploitation of a drunk girl. “I love your lack of self-respect/ whilst you’re passed out on the deck”. Wow, feminists please note these lyrics. I mean there are a million better ways of saying… actually no, no there are not. Just don’t say these things.

6. ‘Wannabe’ by Spice Girls

I am not British born so I am in the unique position where they are not my national treasures. This song – I love it and it’s a fun 90’s hit. But during the whole of it they are telling us what they really, really want and then the answer is, “zig-a-zig aaaaaah”. Well, that is more anti-climatic than your parents walking in.

7. ‘This Boy is a Bottom’ by multiple artists

I mean, this song is trying to win awards for brilliance and it is worth the listen to. It could just be the drag queens singing it but it does sound a little bit ridiculous. “Make him try to top and he will cry”, “His hole is medium rare”. File this under offensive and awful.

8. ‘Stupid Hoe’ by Nicki Minaj

A song whose sole lyrics are, “You a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe”, is not going to win any awards anytime soon. How far has music fallen that this is accepted?

9. ‘Sexy Bitch’ by David Guetta

Let me start with this, “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful/ Damn you’re a sexy bitch”.

No Guetta, I don’t think you did try. A beautiful babe or a hot lady, or any manner of things would have been better than ‘sexy bitch’. If you get stuck ask Nickelback or Nicki Minaj, I’m sure you can all come up with something nicer.

10. ‘Keep their Headz Ringin’ by Dr Dre

Gotta throw a rap one in here somewhere. Any manner of rap songs could have worked but I like this one. “I kick plenty of ass, so call me an astronaut”. That make’s no sense. No sense in English or any other language on this planet. Just plain senseless.

I am only human so I have probably missed some great ones. Please comment below with any lyrics you think are just plain awful.