How to Become a Superhero: The definitive guide | The Student Pocket Guide
Not everyone has access to toxic spiders, radioactive waste or a multi-million dollar inheritance fund to spend on gadgets galore. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a superhero. You may just be over-looking some of your greatest talents and not realising that actually, being able to make an immense omelette truly is an incredible power!
The question you may now be asking is; where do I start? Well it is simple, follow this straightforward guide and you too could be a masked doer of good deeds in no time at all…
Super Powers
First things first, every superhero needs at least one super power. Take for instance Wheel Clamp Man, a real life superhero from Perth, Australia. Although not strictly a law abiding hero, there are many Perth citizens who find his particular skill quite invaluable. The clue is all in the name. Wheel Clamp Man dresses in a tight green leotard and helps motorists avoid a $135 fine by removing wheel clamps with an angle grinder. Although we are not condoning this daredevil’s vigilante antics, we definitely commend his originality. Why not think of some unique power you could have? How about extreme sandwich making? The ability to find a squirrel’s lost nuts? Or, best of all, the power to read your own mind? Now that is super!
Design your Costume
Unlike Bruce Wayne, not everyone has the money to spend on a high-tech, slick looking costume. Professional MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fighter (Benjamin Jones) turned real life superhero (Phoenix Jones) actually managed to make a costume out of a bullet proof vest and armour plating. However, this kind of superhero apparel will still definitely be out of many people’s price range. Not to worry, it’s very easy to improvise with reasonably cheap clothes and items found around the house.
We have already touched on the very popular spandex; this is a great place to start if you’re struggling with ideas. Keep in mind, the police might think you’re just any old vigilante if you start running around clobbering criminals in your normal biking gear. So, choose a striking colour, you want people to know you’re a superhero. Underwear on the outside of your costume is of course optional.
Now you have the base of your costume, it’s time to accessorise. Find an old Halloween mask, and then update it so it can be used as part of your costume. Can’t find a mask? Grab yourself an old t-shirt and cut yourself off a strip of fabric, make two eyeholes and then tie it around your head, the Zorro look never goes out of fashion. A gadget belt is a must. Think of a logo or letter for your character, cut it out of cardboard, cover it in foil (for that genuine metal look) and then attach it to the front of a belt. Take a look around the house; there are many objects which can be used as alternatives to high-tech gizmos. A spatula is perfect for quickly serving up bad guys, plungers are ideal for a quick vertical getaway and old CDs make a great substitute for ninja throwing stars!
Pick a Superhero Name
Of course some of the best names have already been taken but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one out there for you! This is all about being inventive, the quirkier the better. Your superhero name needs to reflect your power, costume or the story behind your character. For example, if you choose to don a particularly fetching Lycra body suit, why not call yourself the Supreme Spandex Bandit? If you have the ability to turn yourself into an armchair at any given time, how about The Unexpected Upholstery Man? The possibilities are endless…
Keep your Identity Secret
If you’re regularly fighting criminals, it is of the highest importance you keep your identity a secret. You hardly want your arch nemesis turning up at your university or place of work and demanding a duel with plasma cannons, it definitely doesn’t give a good impression. Inconspicuous is the name of the game when not combating evil and acting like an “ordinary” person. Plain clothes are a must in your day to day life (a pair of glasses are non-compulsory). Also, you will need a reasonably flexible schedule so you can fit being a superhero around your job or studies. Of course if your superhero power is more focussed on helping old ladies cross the road or saving cats from trees, you can be a little more relaxed about your secret identity; the likelihood is you won’t have any secret villains hunting you down!
Now you’ve had the superhero 101, it’s time to get out there and start doing good deeds in your neighbourhood. If you do start getting noticed by the press and end up in your local newspaper, don’t lap up the glory. Being a real superhero is about helping others, not enjoying the celebrity status…
