Long Distance Relationships by Neela Kumar
Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it doesn’t stop you missing your significant other over those long summer months! Unless you’re really lucky to have met someone who lives close to you that you can see regularly, it’s likely that at Uni your boyfriend or girlfriend could live far away. Instead of seeing them almost all the time on campus, you’re stuck with just phoning, texting or talking on social media, but there are plenty of other ways to still maintain your relationship which can make it even more enjoyable and exciting.
Video calling is a great way to see and talk to them from far away and is a more intimate way of chatting. You can see their reactions and it’s far more relaxing than a phone call where one of you could get distracted! Best of all, it’s free! However, if you’re looking for a more romantic way to chat, you could send letters to one another as it’s always a lovely surprise to get post addressed to you. If you’re on holiday, a postcard will be appreciated too as it’s shows that you’re thinking of them. If you know their address, you could even send them a gift or present, but don’t go over the top! Something personal would be more appreciated than an expensive gift.
If you’re missing doing stuff together, it could be a good idea to start a new long-distance hobby together. You could watch a tv series or a film separately and then talk about it after and bond over it. You could do the same with a book, by forming your own private book club, or even start a new online game together if you’re both gamers. If you’re really creative, you could even start a project together, such as writing or film editing. It’ll give you something to talk about and something fun to share.
Also remember, when you or they are back at home, it’s likely their lifestyle will be different to when they’re at University. This means they may be doing different activities, spending lots of time with friends and family, and it’s easy to feel jealous or inadequate. Just remember, that they’re allowed their independence and you don’t want to come across as needy at all. You’re free to see your friends too and don’t let them make you feel bad about having fun either. Without trust, the relationship will break down so talk about how you’re feeling as it’s perfectly natural. If it’s really a problem for you, then maybe start a new hobby to keep your time occupied. Enjoy the time apart, as you need to be able to trust that you can spend time away from each other as well as together to ensure your relationship is really strong. You don’t need to be in each other’s pockets all the time and independence is a really great trait that your partner will admire in you.
Most of all, arrange to see each other if you’re able to do so and stay with them for a week or so, or meet halfway between where you both live. You could even arrange to go on holiday together if you’re in a more serious relationship. Ensure you’re both giving the same amount of devotion and don’t just spend all your time going to see them if they’re not bothering to come to see you. Seeing each other will be a great opportunity to meet their family and friends and become a bigger part of their life. You can show each other the sights of your hometown and do lots of different activities together, making lots of memories!
It’s easy to get complacent if you don’t see each other, and the relationship could easily break down without you realising it, especially if you’re not contributing equally. Keep the communication lines open and let them know you miss them, but don’t be too needy. If you’re finding it difficult and the relationship just isn’t for you anymore, then don’t do anything too rash if you can’t see them. It’s best to do this stuff face to face, and you’re likely to feel closer to them when you do. Just remember, sometimes it’s a change in situation and circumstances that can cause problems, you may go back to University and be completely fine again! It’s always best to spend some time together and sleep on it before making any big decisions.
Summer may seen like ages, but think how wonderful it will be when you get back to University to see each other again! Do remember, though, that you can’t be at University forever! However, if it’s worth the distance then you can always make post-University plans – but don’t rush into anything just because you’re worried about the distance. Use it to your advantage and your relationship could become even stronger. If it’s true love, then distance won’t matter at all!
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