At some stage during a festival weekend, you will probably want to eat something. Yes there are food vans which will charge you £12 for something made from, at least you’re pretty sure, a type of meat. But with a little help from your favourite digital student pocket sized magazine, you can eat like a king! Ok, not a rich king, but still a type of king. One that is a little short on cash and needs something to eat at a festival. That kind of king.
USE TINY POTS OF UHT FOR YOUR MORNING CUPPA
A pint of milk left in a hot tent on a summer’s day will swiftly begin to smell like something your housemate keeps under his bed. Next time you are in a coffee shop, help yourself to a liberal amount of sachets of long life milk. Perfectly portioned and ideal for festivals.
ULTIMATE BBQ DESSERT
You will need: Tinfoil, 1 banana, a large marshmallow and Mars bar per person.
After cooking the evening’s BBQ, this is the best sweet treat on the whole damn planet. Perfect for impressing that girl you’ve had your eye on or just showing off to some friends.
Cut open a banana lengthways and shove in the Mars bar and the marshmallow.
Then, wrap that bad boy in tinfoil (shiny side in as if you needed telling) and stick it on the grill.
It will want about 5 mins per side.
Be careful taking this off the grill, and make sure you have some wet wipes for afterwards- as, much like that weekend in Brighton, this will get messy.
You will need 1 tin of beans, some hotdogs, some brown sugar (steal it from the same place you got the UHT milk, just come back in an hour with a fake moustache). Some sachets of BBQ sauce (Try to get these from a different restaurant), you’re just taking the mick with all your thieving ways and we are starting to get worries about you.
Tear up the hotdogs and put them in a pan with the beans. Add the sugar and BBQ sauce and cook over a gentle heat until it looks ready. The sugar and the BBQ sauce will make this taste like Brokeback Mountain is happening right in your mouth. In a good way…
Washing up is a massive faff. Just buy paper plates from the local pound shop and eat off those. To be honest, this isn’t so much of a Hack and more just being really lazy.
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY EAT SOME FRUIT OVER THE WEEKEND.
Apples are great when at a festival. The water in them helps if you’re hung over and a quick bit of fruit will freshen you up. But transporting them is a massive hassle.
Get an old Pringles can and fill it with apples to stop them from getting bruised. Also, if someone steals your Pringles, they will have only stolen some rubbish apples instead. Jokes on them!