It has finally arrived! After the pools of rain, the howling of winds and the damn right miserable British weather, the summer is here. For how long it’ll last, no one knows, but one thing is for sure, we’ve got to lap it up while it’s here.

Yesterday we were peaking at over thirty degrees which smashed our European neighbours, but in true British fashion, we were still moaning. ‘It’s too hot’, ‘I can’t sleep’, ‘I wish it was cooler’; well no, I’m sorry my fellow countrymen, but it times like this you’ve got to get lathered up in suncream and indulge into our beautiful nation.

Here at the SPG we’re all up for help and advice, so we’ve got our weather experts on the case to devise a crafty list to survive a heatwave. You’ll love the weather in no time, British or not!

1. Eat your own body weight in ice cream and ice lollies
2. Stick on a pair of snazzy sunnies
3. Have a refreshing pint or five in a beer garden
4. Stay indoors with the AC on full whack
5. Fill your bath with ice and lay in it
6. Less exercise, more relax
7. Suns out, guns out, so cut back on the clothing layers
8. Get your pal to fan you like Cleopatra
9. Don’t let the heat melt your phone
10. Eat or drink something hot, a phall curry or cup of tea will do

So there you have it, it may not be the most conventional survival guide but it’s certainly one where you will enjoy the weather. I can’t wait to get home and sit in an ice bath, in my sunglasses whilst sipping on a chilled pint and eating a phall… delicious.

Now before the sun disappears from scorching the UK, I better get off to soak it up some more, so I hope you find the guide useful and make sure you wear suncream!