It’s the end of the first term and we all have deadlines coming up. No more lazy days spent watching Jeremy Kyle whilst eating the entire fridge, days are spent with our head buried in piles of books wondering when you ever learnt half of this stuff.
When deadlines are approaching everyone goes through the same emotions and the same five stages of writing essays.
Number one, the calm phase. You get your essay months in advance and it feels like you have all the time in the World to complete it. So, the piece of paper your lecturer has handed you goes to the bottom of a pile of books that you’ve not read all year, whilst you sit back and catch up on the weeks TV.
Number two, procrastination. The essay deadline is swiftly approaching and you know it’s got to be done but trying out your mother’s homemade Yorkshire Pudding recipe seems much more important than writing your essay. You do everything you can in order to put off doing the essay, even to go as far as visiting the gym you joined two months ago and never went to.
Number three, mad panic and self loathing. You have three weeks to get the essay done and you’ve not even looked at the questions since they’ve been handed to you. Rushing to the library and getting out every book you can, that has remotely anything to do with the essay subject. Whilst you sit there pulling your hair out you begin to hate yourself, chuntering “why didn’t you start this sooner” under your breath whilst highlighting every quote in sight.
Number four, the breakdown. Time is running out and you realise how much you’ve got left to do. Panic sets in and thoughts that you can’t do it start begin. You spend every evening in front a computer screen surrounded by piles of books and lists of quotes with 10 bars of chocolate and cans of red bull to get you through the night.
Number five, completion. It is done, it is over, you’ve done it! All those hours of hard work have paid off and you’re sat looking at your screen with a completed essay staring right back at you. Finally being able to submit a finished product and going back to watching Desperate Housewives is a relief!
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