Whether your parents are from a foreign country, or they simply worship the idea of having a child with a somewhat distinctive name, then you are the victim of your parent’s decision to name you something completely bizarre. The following struggles will haunt your social life forever.
Meeting new people
This is the absolute worst. Not because meeting new people is exceptionally daunting, but because you have to repeat your name about 9 times before eventually giving up and allowing the other person to call you something completely different.
Your name sounds like other items/objects
People tend to quickly tire from trying to pronounce/remember your actual name so they decide to call you by an object. My name is K-A-R-D-E-L-E-N not cardigan. And no, it is not comical to call me that because I have heard it at least 900 times now.
After making similar noises to what your name is, it will then be abbreviated. My name is no longer cardigan, I am now Kar. And no, my parents did not name me after being inspired by a Volvo, or a Fiat. What a brilliant joke. Made me fall off my chair.
As soon as I mention that my name is Turkish, people immediately assume I am foreign, and start telling me about their British ways. I know that British people are very sarcastic and live off cups of tea, because I AM British. I entered this world in Homerton hospital, Hackney, so I am aware that we are an odd bunch. I’ve been here for 20 years.
You have finally decided to pick the honey and almond hot chocolate, and you are ready to delve into a pond of a sugar-overload. But you are not prepared to generate a queue while you explain how to pronounce your name then spell it out. “No, not M, its N, KardeleN.”
Your name will never exist on a Coke bottle. Ever.
Instead you have to buy one that says ‘friend’ or something and pretend someone bought it for you. You will miss out on snapchatting your Coke bottle name, while your friend Anna has already found her name 10 times in the past week. You are not at all jealous and do not feel the need to succumb to societal mainstream activities.
Microsoft Word is your worst enemy
Constantly having to deal with your name as a ‘spelling error’ will frustrate you and cause you to have a mini mental breakdown when using this software. It will be tempting to write to their head offices, but you will refrain from this because you have finally accepted that you have an unusual name.
- Subscribe to The Student Pocket Guide for exclusive competitions, deals, discounts, tips and advice!
- Read The Student Pocket Guide.