‘Oh sod it, it’s Christmas’

It is the phrase you will use when faced with any sort of predicament. Right until 2016, when you have to get your life together and make New Year’s resolutions and all that nonsense. It’s a marvellous thing to say, don’t get me wrong. You have worked incredibly hard and you deserve to have a bit of a laissez faire approach in the festive season. Put your feet up. Go on. Get out that Lush bath bomb and treat your senses. Have a mulled wine and eat the whole Terry’s chocolate orange whilst watching Elf in your jim jams. I dare you.

But be smart about it. There are a few, easy peasy hacks to ensure Christmas is a nice gentle breezy affair and not the chaotic Storm Desmond.

Ring your nan

Nan’s love to hear what their dear is up to. They want to hear all the details about university and love interests, because they are already looking forward to your wedding and when you get the first graduation job. However, let’s be honest. We don’t stay in contact as much as we like. We are rather shamelessly eating Shreddies out of saucepans and trying not to spew after drinking 50p Tequila shots. We are making fancy dress outfits out of shoe boxes and trying to work out how to get a 2:1 without doing any work. We are busy. But you have all seen that John Lewis advert.  For goodness sake, ring your Nan. Your conscious will thank you for it and weight will have been lifted.

Be more stingy with your present buying

It’s nice to be nice. It’s nice to buy people things and it’s really nice to watch a grin explode across their face when you have bought them a nice candle for their mantelpiece. However, unless you want to live off porridge oats and water the whole of January, you’re gonna have to reign in that good Samaritan act. You are a student. Everyone knows you are poor and everyone knows you can’t be buying Nike trainers for all your cousins and that kid you always say hello to at the library. You need to determine who the most important people are in your life, i.e. mum, dad, sister and dog and stick to this list. Everyone else will have to make do with a card with a snowman on. Or even better, a nice festive Facebook message. Because if it wasn’t on Facebook, did it even happen?

Keep a box of Maltesers handy

Hey, I know I just preached about not buying people presents. However there is nothing more heart wrenching, then your BFF from year 7 showing up on your doorstep with a fancy wrapped present and a bottle of prosecco, with you having completely forgotten about their existence and feeling terrible as they walk away empty handed into the wilderness. Malteasers are shoddy, but they are better than nothing. And everyone likes Malteasers. Keep a box of Malteasers in case of emergencies. It will help you sleep better at night.

Don’t attempt to wrap

Maybe it’s just my friends, but everyone I have met at university seems to be horrendous at wrapping presents. We all seem to be great at mind mapping and watching Amazon prime for ten hours at a time. Wrapping, not so great. I think it’s the attention to detail, which is hard to maintain when being a student, especially because of horrendous student housing and barely owning a matching knife and fork. Over the summer, it was my friend’s birthday and I had no sellotape, meaning I had to wrap said friends presents with plasters. Plasters. My poor friend didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Just quit while your ahead chums and get your mum to do it. Or better still, use gift bags.

If you have a Christmas party don’t get so drunk you are escorted home

This is an important one. If you have a work Christmas party, please remember it is STILL work, no matter how much it is advertised as ‘festive magic and cheer :)))’. Your boss will still be there making mental notes on your behaviour and will definitely remember you drunkenly dancing on a table to Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I will survive’, despite desperate pleas from your colleagues, ‘PLEASE get down, people are staring.’  I know that it is your part-time job and you may not see yourself there for the rest of your life, but if you plan on keeping the job over the festive season, don’t go mental for the free bar and please don’t tell your boss what you really think of the Monday morning meeting.

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