We’ve all been there. Paid extortionate amounts to experience the new blockbuster at the local cinema, simply to have the entire trip ruined by degenerates who were apparently raised in a barn. As a cinema employee myself, I thought I’d make a definitive guide on how not to be THAT person who spoils it for everyone.

Be quiet.

There’s nothing worse than talking all the way through the movie and it’s the biggest complaint I receive. If you’ve come to watch, then watch! Don’t sit yapping to your mate about what you had for tea last night.

Eat thoughtfully.

Rustly bags are honestly the bane of existence at the cinema. Try and keep the scoffing to a minimum. A good tip is to hold fire until a louder scene in the film; it masks the racket surprisingly well.

Don’t make wise cracks to the staff about prices.

“I’ll need to take out a mortgage to pay for that!”… I literally hear this sentence at least six times every shift. If you don’t want to pay, don’t buy it? Simple.

Don’t yell spoilers on your way out.

This takes me back to when I was on my way in to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt.1. I was waiting to go in when someone suddenly yelled, “I CAN’T BELIEVE DOBBY DIED!?”

Needless to say it was heart wrenching and I could’ve actually killed him. Just don’t do it.

Take your rubbish with you.

If you saw the absolute state of the screens sometimes your eyes would water. It’s just generally decent behaviour to not leave piles of crap behind, have some common sense.

Keep PDAs to a minimum.

Numerous couples slobbering over each other in the back row gets a bit distracting after a while, not to mention a bit nauseating. Please save it for the bedroom!

So there you have it. My quick guide on how to be the best movie-goer around! I hope you all have wonderful experiences and never have to suffer these sins.

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