According to most cultures, religions and legal systems we can be classed as adults from 16+, but that doesn’t mean that we miraculously transform from a child into our parents (no matter how much they wish we would). No, this formulated motion that we call ‘growing up’ leaves behind our pirate ships and fairy wings, and instead gifts us with ‘reality.’ And oh do we take it well! Here are your biggest fails of growing up:
Realising that you have responsibility
Many will think that this just means having to do your own laundry or not setting your house on fire when unsupervised, but actually the biggest thing we forget to do as we grow up is maintain things. Especially our cars. The nervous phone call connects to your father as you ask: ‘ why is the thingy light is flashing?’ It’s because with the amount of abuse you’ve inflicted on it, by not changing the oil, or pumping up the tires, or checking the water levels, your car is about to check itself into rehab. A car is not just for Christmas, kids.
Forgetting everything our parents taught us
You’re out in ‘The Real World’ now your on your own and survival 101 is going smoothly so far, although we all make poor judgements from time to time. The worst thing is when you reach for the toast as it pops out of the toaster; you know it’s hot and you know this because it always is, but when you strip the situation down to its bare bones, you’re a mammal; a hunter; a human, and as soon as you see that piece of food, your primal instincts kick in, you lunge for the hot toast and pray to God that it doesn’t hurt you again. Growing up huh? Tell that to our burnt fingers!
Forgetting everything else
As human beings we are created to forget things. It’s imprinted into our DNA. Yes, we may have been friends for 5 years and we may have had joint birthday parties, but I still don’t know when your birthday is! It’s a horrible truth that we must all accept growing up. With a thousand other useless facts we have to retain, birthdays and anniversaries just are not one.Thank God for Facebook notifications! Not to worry though mate, it’s nothing personal. We may know it’s a Wednesday, but I guarantee it will take you 5 minutes to figure out the date!
Buying things that you hate
As a young person, you’re quickly reminded that anything useful around the house was given custody to your parents when you moved out, and you realize as you’re savaging a cheesecake apart with a nothing but a ladle and a hungry man’s dream, that you have no proper kitchen equipment, or any utensils to do its assigned job. This means opening baked beans with a knife (not recommended), using wooden spoons to eat with because you’ve misplaced that fork, eating out of saucepans once the food is ready to save on washing up and using chopsticks as a makeshift spatula. The next step is placing the mutilated cheesecake onto, yes you guessed it: paper plates. Who really has time for washing up anyway? So instead of sawing your meat with a tiny vegetable knife for another year you end up going to ‘adult shops’ in your spare time (No it’s not what you think, we mean B&Q, Homebase etc.) where you buy an array of boring products like egg holders and lighting fixtures. Although the biggest fail of growing up is getting bath mats as birthday gifts..eek! – Warning: if you find yourself getting excited about new sponges in the kitchen sink or casserole dishes, you are too far gone and have began the ‘proper adulty transition into an adult’.
Not feeling like an adult
Whether you’re a teenager or a young adult the chances are you don’t feel like an ‘adult’ because adults do ‘adulty’ things.They buy carpets and pay mortgages, wear suits and hate their jobs. Luckily we’re not at that stage yet (thank goodness)! Which is why you can’t call a taxi without cringing inside; that’s why you order your food from an app (because you don’t want to talk to anyone); that’s why you reply to a letter only after you’ve read it verbatim to a proper ‘adult’; that’s why you eat off of paper plates (because you don’t want to wash up) and that’s why you won’t sign any documents without asking your parents what it means first. it’s not wanting to go to the doctors alone (because yes it’s scary for everyone), and the reason why we are living proof of these ‘fails of growing up’ is because we are still young at heart.
So, however much you think you’ve failed or succeeded at ‘growing up’, the chances are that you still have at least one teddy bear in your house; you still watch Disney films; you still answer the imaginary phone when a child tells you too, and you still run for your life up the stairs when you turn the lights off at night. If you think you’ve escaped the fails of growing up, don’t worry we’ve seen the pictures to prove you’re lying!
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