Ah, the dreaded friend zone. Being stuck in a constant situation where your love isn’t mutual can be a recipe for disaster. You’re basically stuck in a forsaken place of no return: The Bermuda Triangle that is the friend zone! Since the first mention of ‘the F word’ in a 1994 episode of Friends, where Joey taunts Ross for being stuck in Rachel’s “friend zone”, the term has become a heart-sinking phrase. The friend zone is bad news for anyone chasing someone they can’t have: especially at University. But is the friend zone real? Do guys and gals use the device to get out of dating commitments? Or is it just a way for ‘ego-tastic’ people to deal with rejection?
Whilst it’s notoriously difficult to crawl your way out of the ‘friend-zone’, it is technically not impossible. If you really want to escape the constant, replaying cycle of: “We will always be friends.” Follow these straight forward steps:
Break the ‘nice guy’ or ‘sweet girl’ stereotype:
Most guys and girls who find themselves in the dreaded ‘friend-zone’ usually follow many characteristics of the ‘too nice’ stereotype. This means someone who wants to avoid making other people uncomfortable at all costs, whilst failing to communicate their own needs. The fact of the matter is, when you put others emotional needs before yourself, you’re subconsciously communicating a lack of self-worth. So wear your most confident smile and stop acting like Mr/ Mrs Nice.
Stop being needy:
Stop what you’re doing! Can you smell that? It is the scent of desperation lurking in the air, and it’s not a good smell. You may not realise, but you might be coming off as a little desperate. You might be rushing things emotionally, in which case you need to relax. Without comprehending the situation, you could be placing this person on a golden throne. Not everyone is perfect, you know! So relax a little, take a deep breath and kick that person off the pedestal.
Make a move:
As the cliché goes- you need to put that plan into action. If you want to get out the friend-zone, you have to make the first move. The best thing you can do is to make plans and put things into a proper perspective. Taking a move is an imperative part to accomplish your primary mission of getting out of the friend zone. So next time you see an advertisement for a theatre production, or even a fun activity like outdoor climbing- making a move won’t hurt.
You should never put all your eggs into one basket. You can get out of the friend-zone by thinking about unique ways like meeting someone, going out and working with different social groups or circles. You can even adopt a bit of flirting towards people you have just met. Ironically, the more people you meet, the more effective you’re ‘getting out of the friend-zone’ endeavour will be. So next time someone smiles at you across a crowded room, gain the courage and talk to them!
Remember, when you meet someone you’re attracted to, make your move and do not hold back. The only thing you may lose if a friendship and, if I’m honest, a new friendship isn’t always a bad thing. There is much to gain and very little to lose.
- Subscribe to The Student Pocket Guide for exclusive competitions, deals, discounts, tips and advice!
- Read The Student Pocket Guide.