At SPG we’ve covered a range of advice topics – from diet, study tips, budgeting, staying safe and relationship advice. Well now we will tackle that common student problem where you think that your new housemate could be a bear.
Bears hardly ever use social media, so if you found a student house mate on Facebook you’re probably ok. That being said, they do occasionally use Twitter: twitter.com/BearGrylls, twitter.com/A_single_bear
For future reference, bad places for recruiting potential student house mates include zoos, caves and the Canadian Rocky Mountains. If you found your house mate in any of these locations you need to seriously consider if you are in fact living with a bear.
Ok, no-one likes a food thief. But you’re not stealing the food, you’re just looking at it. Like a food voyeur. Anyway, the point is don’t get caught. If they are an actual student and not a bear then their shelf of the fridge and cupboard space should look something like the following:
Half an empty jar of value mayonnaise, gone off milk, several tins of value beans, pasta and sauces.
If they have several whole salmon, nuts and berries, a gallon of honey and half a raccoon – these are all warning signs that your housemate could be a bear.
Clubs and societies are great ways to meet new friends and do cool stuff. But they can also be a hiding place for bears to integrate themselves into student culture. Any of the following should ring alarm bells:
Climbing society (bears climb trees), swimming teams (bears are great swimmers), The Green Party (bears have a vested interest in preserving the environment) and Ultimate Frisbee (bears CAN’T GET ENOUGH of Ultimate Frisbee)!
If it does turn out that your house mate is a bear then tell the student advice service on campus immediately. They will have dealt with this before and can help you in this difficult situation. Good luck and take care.
-Jack “Totally-not a-bear” Shannon.