Ok, I’m not going to lie to you. Like graduating, getting out of bed and finding a job- the washing is something you are going to want to put off as long as possible. But it is something that needs doing eventually. But like YouTube when you have an essay due, we are going to help you put that off for as long as humanly possible.
WEAR SOCKS AND PANTS INSIDE OUT
This is just a classic. Turn these items inside out, and then back to front. That’s four times the wear a “normal” person gets from their underpants. That’s Maths. And you can’t argue with Maths. You know what chicks dig? Maths. Back of the net.
SUITS DON’T NEED TO BE WASHED
Wool or wool blend suits don’t need to be washed. They need to be dry cleaned occasionally, but that’s different. You might look like a hobo, but classy hobo.
FANCY DRESS IS FOR LIFE, NOT JUST FANCY DRESS PARTIES.
We are kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel here guys, but as a student I reckon you have at least a few fancy dress outfits in the wardrobe. The ladies love an eccentric. And nothing says free spirited thinker who plays by his own rules like turning up to a lecture of Anglo-Saxon migration theory dressed as Captain Hook.
This is obvious. If you haven’t coated your clothes in Febreze yet then you are just doing it wrong. And by it, I mean life.
A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED
Borrow your friend’s clothes. Say you are thinking about buying a similar style, but want to try them out first. Basic human decency says you should return them clean, so in the long term this isn’t a good strategy to avoid doing the washing, but it should at least buy you a couple of extra days.
GET A JOB
Well, not forever obviously. But if you get a job, they give you a uniform. And that means more clean clothes! KA-CHING!
BECOME A SUPER-MODEL/ ACTOR
They get given free clothes or costumes to wear all the time! Imagine the admiring glances you will get turning up to seminars dressed in Jean-Paul Gaultier. Or a Henry VIII costume after staring in the BBC’S Latest costume drama.
Words- Jack Shannon