The 5 Kinds of Drunk People

On a night out, you are guaranteed to meet some strange people; most of them drunk. Alcohol affects us all in different ways, bringing out that suppressed character inside us that we desperately try to hide…until we drink. So here is a list of the five kinds of drunk people! You’ll probably be able to relate to at least one of them.

  1. The Emotional Drunk
    These people are the ones who always seem to end up having some kind of existential crisis when they get to drinking. They often end the night in floods of tears and then wake up the next morning feeling humiliated because they cried about their dead dog that passed on when they were five. If they go missing during the night they are most likely locked away in a toilet cubical crying down the phone to their mum.
  2. The Aggressive Drunk
    The alcohol they consume seems to fuel a deep rage within them. They seem to suddenly exceed a certain level of drunkenness that you can’t bring them back from. Insults you once deemed playful and utterly harmless are now sending them into fist fights and shouting matches with a stranger they accidentally bumped into on the way back from the bar. Probably best to keep your distance from them.
  3. The Sexual Drunk
    A couple shots of tequila and suddenly they become some kind of predator on the hunt for, well, anything that moves. The consumption of alcohol appears to result in them not thinking with their brain, but with, uh, something else. You’ll find them preying on the innocent around the bar. Basically the human equivalent of the heart-eye emoji.
  4. The Silly Drunk
    This person can really make an average night out to be one you’ll never forget! Although they can get pretty embarrassing at times… The silly drunk is fearless and seems to think they’re indestructible. They usually end up performing some dangerous stunt that usually lands them in A&E – but they don’t care; it was worth being the centre of attention for the night.
  5. The Hungry Drunk
    Probably best to padlock your fridge with this guy around. They basically turn into some kind of human dustbin and you’ll most likely find them squinting at the menu in your local takeaway kebab shop. Unfortunately, the high consumption of alcohol makes them particularly messy eaters too.