The Dealing with Anger Guide

I have heard and seen so many pieces of advice for dealing with anger and it all seems to be the same thing- “take deep breaths, count to ten, use a stress ball.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mocking this advice at all because it might helpful for some people.. but for me, it seems like I’ve heard it all before and when I’m in that frame of mind, the last thing that I want to do is sit down and try different breathing techniques.

Whether you’re a slow burner who has frustration slowly niggling at their mood, or somebody who blows like a firework.. I’m going to share my ultimate dealing with anger guide that you can use to take yourself out of the hard mindset that you can fall into when feeling angry.

I’ll start with when you’re on level 100 short fuse mode. From experience, I know that there’s not too much that can calm you down once you’ve reached breaking point. So there are only a few but necessary tips that I think can really help in that circumstance:

– If you’re in a situation involving other people, walk away.

Yes, it might be difficult to walk away but nothing good comes from having a confrontation or making decisions when your blood is boiling. Trust me. Respect yourself enough to know that you need to walk away.

– Don’t make any spontaneous decisions. Sleep on it first. 

Don’t do or say anything that you might regret in the moment. Give yourself time to think clearly.

– Freshen up. Wash your face. Brush your teeth.

This is my ‘go to tip‘ when I’m in explosion mode. It’s one of the only things that helps me calm down. I splash a bit of cold water on my face, brush my teeth and it gives me a second to compose. You’re probably laughing, but honestly, try it next time you’re feeling angry. It will change your life.

– Don’t go for a drive.

Nothing good will come from angry driving. You can be a danger to yourself and others on the road.

And now for when you’re on slow burning mode. I understand that having anger can sometimes affect your day to day living and relationships. Nobody wants to take things out on the ones they love, but I think that we’re all guilty of doing this sometimes without meaning to. Here are just a few everyday changes that could really help:

– Find something that makes you laugh everyday. 

Whether it be watching a funny TV programme, reading a book or talking to somebody who makes you giggle. Find something that can lighten your mood a little bit. I know it’s cliche but laughter really is the best medicine. It’s the first step to letting go of bottled up anger.

– Do something to take your mind away from your frustrations.

Find something that helps you turn your anger into something positive. Write your feelings down, go to the gym, find a hobby. Find anything that gives your mind time and space to breathe.

– If something in your life is making you angry, start making changes.

If there is a certain aspect of your life that brings you stress, then start changing things. If you have toxic relationships, end them. If you don’t like your boss, look for a new job. Learn to meditate. Find God. Change anything that doesn’t bring you happiness. If you’re in a point of your life that is mentally challenging, make a plan and stick to it. Don’t expect everything to happen overnight though, take one step at a time.

– Talk about how you feel.

It’s another way of letting go of your pent up anger. As they say, a problem shared is a problem halved!

And finally,

-Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do feel frustrated or angry.

Know that it’s completely normal to feel frustrated and angry now and again. It’s what makes us human. The way we deal with anger is what really matters. You can’t expect to feel great 100% of the time. Just give yourself a bit of break and take things as they come.

By Starr Sawyer