Living with Depression is like being on a constant rollercoaster of emotions; it can become really draining and tedious. There can be positive days and there can be other days where you feel like giving up. It’s really important to know that it’s okay to feel low. It’s how we pick ourselves back up when we are on the floor that counts.
Things to Remember when Living with Depression:
-It’s so easy to pick the ‘nobody understands how I feel’ option when you feel down.
Correct, nobody will ever know what it’s like to be inside your head but they might pick that thought process too. People understand what it’s like to feel like nobody understands.
-It’s okay to change as a person. Don’t beat yourself up because you wish that you were still the same person that you was a few years ago.
Going to university is a transitional process anyway so don’t let this thought get on top of you. I do this a lot. I tell myself that I want to go back to being care free. Before the depression and anxiety. But in reality, why would I want to go backwards? Yes, things may have been easier in the past but if I still lived there then I would never learn anything about myself or experience new things. We learn new things every day and not all days are bad. Yes you may be different. That’s good. You learn to cherish the good times and how to keep fighting when things are tough.
– Yes, you may lose friendships along the way. That’s not your fault. That just shows you that the people you lost wasn’t really worth associating with in the first place.
Sometimes, I look at old photographs of people that I used to be friends with and I blame myself for losing the relationships. I shouldn’t do that. And neither should you. People will seem like such a major part of your life and then just disappear. Not everybody will stand by you when you’re at your lowest. They only want you when you’re at your best. People like that aren’t worthy of your time. We all have a tendency to look at the past with rose tinted glasses. Everything happens for a reason. You eventually meet better friends. You haven’t pushed anybody away. If somebody wants to stick by you then they will. No matter what.
– There may be days where you don’t leave your bed and there may be days where you feel perfectly fine. That’s okay. Take baby steps. You will eventually get there.
After dropping out of university and losing my job, I pretty much gave up with life. I hardly left my bed- my skin broke out terribly and I put on 2 stone. I still despise myself for letting myself go like that. There are days where I can look at myself in the mirror and call myself a fat ugly pig. What a poisonous way to think? But then I think about the times that I’ve managed to get up, get dressed and do my make up after battling with my brain telling me not to.. and I’m really effing proud of myself. You will slowly start taking steps to become stronger. It won’t come overnight, but you will get there. And so will I.
Depression is a battle but it’s also a really important journey for the soul. Not everybody is dealt the same cards in life, we have to ride with what we’ve got. Never be afraid to talk about how you feel or worry about being judged. There are so many people that fight this battle, so make sure you talk openly and often. Don’t think that depression is not real just because it’s not visible. There is always somebody who will listen to you.
By Starr Sawyer