Hilarious Tweets From Parents
Regardless as to whether you are a parent or not; we can all find these hilarious. And can we take the time to appreciate Ryan Reynold’s parent tweets? Classic.
what up! been buried in diapers, but having a blast… btw, don't piss my little girl off — she's got great aim and projectile poo.
— schwim (@DavidSchwimmer) June 23, 2011
Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this".
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 26, 2015
The new mom at my work is so cute, she's still enthusiastic and doesn't have a drinking problem yet.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) December 31, 2014
Joke by my 4 year old. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Why sweetie?" "Because his butthole itched". She laughs hysterically.
— christina applegate (@1capplegate) December 17, 2015
If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 6, 2014
I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.
— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014
I think that when you have small kids, you just have to be ok with the fact that your car will always smell like slightly rotten apples.
— Busy Philipps (@BusyPhilipps) July 25, 2015
Apparently a 2 year old getting her hair washed and an exorcism sound oddly similar.
— Jacques-O-lantern (@jnyemb) March 30, 2014
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016
”My wipe did be sooo messy." I hope she never learns to speak correctly.
— dax shepard (@daxshepard) January 17, 2016
Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 23, 2014
4-year-old: Why do you go to work?
Me: They pay me a salary.
4-year-old: I don’t even like celery.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 28, 2015
Tuesday: Day 1 of school, preschool, and back to work.
Wednesday: Home with two sick kids.
— Mommy, for real. (@MommyisForReal) September 9, 2015
— Anna Faris (@AnnaKFaris) September 3, 2015
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