We don’t have to be alone in being alone… Let’s be alone together!
*gets into a relationship*
This is bad
Hmm this is bad too
*looks in a mirror*
Oh I see the problem now
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) May 26, 2015
just dropped my new single
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) August 30, 2014
me: i'm so lonely
me: leave me alone
— Funny Tweets™ (@Lmao) June 24, 2013
whats the difference between me and a calendar?
a calendar has dates
— anti joke apple (@antijokeapple) December 21, 2014
him: your single? why?
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant
— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) November 5, 2012
When you can't really tell if someone is into you or not pic.twitter.com/DbtK9mCstQ
— Funny (@autocorrects) October 11, 2015
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
— Sarcasm (@TheFunnyTeens) October 10, 2015
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
— Baby Bionic Swayze (@buhsbaby_baby) September 19, 2015
me: are you cold?
date: *shivering* a little
me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) September 30, 2015
[getting ready for a date]
ROOMMATE: the key is to not seem too desperate
DATE: i love this restaurant
ME: haha i love u too
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) September 30, 2015