Obsessing over your ex? Three simple steps to freedom.
Break ups suck. Doesn’t matter who did what, whether it was your choice, theirs, or a mutual agreement – none of that makes it hurt any less. If you find yourself obsessing over your ex, however, there is a way you can stop it.
Our thoughts sometimes get stuck in negative patterns. After a break up, you could find your mind flooded with images of all the good memories you had together, shitty things that happened, or daydreams of the future that might have been. This is a big part of what makes break ups suck, but you can stop it with something I call the Picture Technique:
1. Choose one of the memories you have been obsessing over. Notice how you see pictures associated with it in your mind’s eye? Pick one and check how it makes you feel.
2. Make it black and white and notice how your feeling change
3. Shrink the image and push it further away from you so it becomes a tiny little stamp in the distance. See how your feelings change as you do that.
What you’re looking for is a change of feeling as you play around with the pictures. What you usually find is that when your mental pictures from memories of your ex are full colour and big, they make you feel worse than when they are black and white and so small you can hardly see them.
You can repeat this over and over each time a new memory pops up. After doing this three or four times in a row, you should be able to go on with your day. And if more pesky painful pictures pop up later, just go through the process again.
If you still can’t get over your ex and on with your day, there might be a few negative beliefs, behaviours or habits that are holding you back.
Drop me a line at the email address below and tell me how this works for you!
Natty is a Success coach with a particular interest in helping young people cope with the stresses and strains of modern living. Dating, Anxiety, Depression, and Fitness are all areas she helps her clients with, for more info you can contact her via her Facebook page HERE or email [email protected]
