when u get too drunk at the club and everyone is like ummm lets get u home pic.twitter.com/bQLMVMLqTv
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) June 14, 2015
My favorite drink is "Wow! There's alcohol in that? I'll be able to drink several of those".
— sara (@SomthinBoutSara) July 20, 2014
How I significantly improved my Netflix pic.twitter.com/8EMjBI3PM1
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) May 6, 2015
the best kind of alcohol is a lot.
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) February 15, 2015
DATE: ill have a dry white wine please
ME: yeah ill have a wet one, thanks
— tomsauced (@trojansauce) September 13, 2015
Me: I'm definitely over him
— moody monday (@mdob11) April 19, 2015
Ahhh yes of course, I adore wine. I especially love [looks down at bottle of Pinot Grigio] peanut Gregorio
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) January 19, 2015
Alcohol is like a push-up bra for your personality.
— Nicole Betz (@TomHanksIsHot) April 21, 2012
*Tries to blow breathalyzer*
breathalyzer: I have a girlfriend
— Amanda Hugnkiss (@caliluvgirl77) January 23, 2015
alcohol is not the answer
alcohol is the question, yes is the answer
— anti joke apple (@antijokeapple) October 3, 2015
If training for a triathlon doesn't include drinking margaritas and taking naps then that clearly explains why I'm not in training
— EnvyDaTropic™ (@envydatropic) March 13, 2015
the guy at the liquor store didn't card me and it hurt my feelings so I said I was a cop and idk what to do next we're just standing here
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) January 17, 2015
A hangover is just your body reminding you that you're an idiot.
— Trevor S (@trevso_electric) August 29, 2015
22 year old me after a night of drinking: "I hope I didn't do anything stupid."
29 year old me: "I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."
— Ian Karmel (@IanKarmel) April 26, 2014