Every time I see a large cardboard box I think "my cat would love that."
— Flo Perry (@FloPerry) September 7, 2016
gurl r u a cat because u have ignored all my attempts to earn ur love and attention
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) March 28, 2015
my cat always looks like she just watched you take the last slice of pizza without offering to split it pic.twitter.com/ygahrS984X
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) October 14, 2015
My cat has eyes fixed on the ceiling and I'm hoping the disturbance turns out to be a demonic specter ready to eat my soul and not a bug.
— Amanda M-W (@Manda_like_wine) January 29, 2016
Saying "Bless You" out loud when my cat sneezes makes me
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) November 16, 2015
Every time I see a large cardboard box I think "my cat would love that."
— Flo Perry (@FloPerry) September 7, 2016
My cat: *Refuses to use the good toys I bought her*
*only plays with things from the trash*
Me: haha. same— Grace Spelman (@GraceSpelman) August 22, 2016
My cat hissed at me from his carrier on our way home from the vet and I have never felt more like a parent whose child yells "I HATE YOU."
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) September 1, 2016
"Dogs are assholes"
DOG PERSON: YOU'RE an asshole!
"Cats are assholes"
CAT PERSON: Yeah— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) September 3, 2015
if my cat doesn't like you then i can't like you
sorry i don't make the rules— madison (@mtaucoin) June 5, 2016
interesting that my cat is afraid of wrinkled receipts but is totally fine carrying a half-dead spider in her mouth for two hours
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) August 11, 2016
*me petting my cat*
CAT: This is the happiest I will ever be*a door opens*
CAT: Now is my chance to flee this prison and never return— #3 @ghostkrogh fan (@sad_tree) February 24, 2015
BATMAN: I got you flowers
CATWOMAN: Put them in this vase
BATMAN: Ok
CATWOMAN: *pushes vase off counter while maintaining eye contact*— Floyd (@dafloydsta) September 8, 2015
