You know how it is, you scrape your way through your course, consuming far too much alcohol and doing the bare minimum to make sure you graduate. But guaranteed there’s that one essay that comes along and it’s so horrific it has the power to make you contemplate your whole future at university.
Here are the seven stages of essay writing presented by one of your favourite TV shows, The Office.
Your lecturer or teacher reveals the essay and the tight deadline. You panic and realise you haven’t listened to a single thing that has been said over the course of the last few weeks meaning this essay is going to be near impossible. You can already feel the impending doom of late night, Red Bull induced, frantic typing to meet the deadline, and you can definitely predict right now that it’s going to be a load of crap.
You and your friends gather for a discussion on the latest assignment, and your mates, who actually take their classes seriously, keep going on about how easy the essay will be and that they’ll have it done by tomorrow morning.
A few days has passed and you’ve made no attempt to start the essay because you have no idea what you’re supposed to be writing about. You decide it’s time to go meet your lecturer or teacher for some extra guidance… But at this point, it’s pretty much hopeless and you just wished you paid more attention in class.
The deadline is tomorrow, you have no choice but to make a half-arsed attempt at writing the bloody essay. It’s going to be a long, tough night fueled by energy drinks and leftover pizza.
You hand in your essay bang on the deadline knowing full well it might as well have been written by a five year old. You haven’t proof read it because you can’t bare to look back at how terrible your work is. But hey, at least it’s done right? You may have done a botched job, but it’s finally over.
upon reflection, you and your friends discuss the struggles you went through to complete the essay. And finally, someone else reveals that they struggled just as hard as you did, and you’re not the only one who handed in a load of rubbish.
Life is pretty sweet for a few days, the trauma of the last essay gone and forgotten. That is, until your lecturer has the audacity to set another near impossible essay. And knowing you have to repeat all seven stages all over again, you begin to contemplate life as a stripper.
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