At the end of every semester, we’ve got no choice but to live off Pot Noodle and keep attempting to work out how exactly to pay for our ticket home. Most of us promise ourselves that next term we’ll get more organised, work harder, spend less, and say no to the bar crawl when there’s work to be done… Sound familiar? Here are some of the biggest lies all students tell themselves at the beginning of each term.

I will budget

After spending all of last semester’s money on nights out, takeaways, alcohol, and a bit more alcohol, it’s safe to say that all budgeting plans went out the window. This term it’s all going to change though… honestly! Gone are the secret shopping trips – “They have a student discount” is not a good enough reason to buy something – and excess alcohol, replaced by actual meals with money left over to spend down the SU.

I will stop buying takeaways

We’ve all been there. We haven’t had a chance to go shopping, and don’t fancy the lonely tin of beans left in the cupboard for tea. One takeaway won’t hurt, right? It will save on washing up too… Wrong! It might seem OK at the time, but when the delivery guy recognises you and knows you by your first name, you know you’ve got a problem. Put time aside each week to do a proper food shop. Thanks to your new budgeting plan (which you’re definitely sticking to), you might even be able to afford a proper meal – with meat and everything.

I will drink less

Waking up with yet another hangover is really starting to take its toll on your poor, fairly innocent body. ‘Ring of Fire’ and a cider, wine, and spirit cocktail may seem like a good idea at the time, but when you’re sitting in your exam struggling to remember what your lecturer was on about the day after the bar crawl, maybe it’s time to finally have a rethink. We’re all mature uni students after all.

I will attend more, ALL seminars and lectures

Lies, lies, and more lies… We know this should be a given, but sometimes it’s just so hard to remove the duvet and get up and go to uni. It’s going to change this term though. No snooze buttons allowed! It will be worth it. We can do this.

I will get all my coursework done before the deadline day

You’ve come to enjoy the last minute as one of your favourites, but this term, that’s definitely going to change… Did you know finishing an assignment can actually be reasonably stress free if you give yourself enough time? No? Me neither. Might be worth a shot though.

I will stop last minute revision cramming

Realising your exams are fast approaching and barely having any legible lecture notes isn’t going to get you a 2:1, let alone a 1st. Plan ahead and avoid a ‘Will from The Inbetweeners style public meltdown’. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

I will stop procrastinating

Ah yes, the art of procrastination; one of students’ most loved past times – listening to music, tidying your room, and catching up on tv programmes you hadn’t even started watching but think now might be a good time to start. Don’t you wish someone would have told you all those things needed doing before you got given your assignment?

I will stop spending all my time on Facebook or Twitter

Even when writing this I found it necessary to check my phone regularly in case I missed out on something exciting. I didn’t, obviously… Many students say that since starting uni, one of their worst habits is constantly being online. Break that habit and join a society instead. It will get you out of the house, give you the chance to meet new people, and you might actually enjoy it.

I will sort my sleeping pattern out

Of all of the biggest lies students tell themselves, this is probably the biggest. Students are notoriously bad for sleeping during the day and staying up until the early hours, which doesn’t bode well with our previous point. It’s all going to change this term though. We’ve told you this. That means getting to bed the right side of 12 and doing something productive during the day? Maybe one more lazy day won’t hurt…

A few weeks in and already telling yourself all of these lies? Don’t panic. There’s always next term, right?

By Megan Caulfield