The truth is, we live in a world where for some reason, being alone has become synonymous with loneliness. You see someone alone in a restaurant and your instinct is to feel sorry for them. But why should that be our natural response? Who decided that being alone is a bad thing? Well that’s where self-dating steps in.

In reality, being alone does not mean somebody is lonely. Rather, sometimes people just want to enjoy things alone. So, here’s a few reasons why you should consider taking yourself on solo-dates and how to combat the fear of judgement.

It does wonders for your confidence

Okay, so in all honesty, self-dating is one of those things where you have to endure short-term pain for long-term gain. You can ease yourself into the process, such as by going to a coffee shop or even food-shopping alone. But if you’re looking to dive right in, going to a restaurant alone is one of the best activities you can do. There’s a chance you may get some stares, or somebody may make a comment, but the payoff is so worth it.

I mean, time alone with good food, no pressure to talk and the freedom to do anything you want (e.g. listen to a podcast, read a book, or sit in silence)? Sounds pretty great to me. After confronting the initial discomfort of being alone in this kind of environment, you’ll strut out feeling like a new person.

It’s a chance to get to know new parts of yourself

Do you ever stop and think, how well do I really know myself? It’s easy to sail through life without ever properly getting to know ourselves. Sure, you may know what genre of film you like or your favourite cuisine, but how often do you get the chance to devote time to the things you really love? There’s a good chance that there’s sides to you that you don’t know about. And well, solo-dates are the perfect chance to discover these new facets.

We are ever-changing individuals, give yourself the space to grow!

You learn what it is you want in a relationship

In the same way that dates alone help you learn new facets of your personality; they also help you determine your boundaries and preferences. And if you realise that you’re the only person you need to have fun, you lower the risk of settling when dating.

A lack of independence can often lead to being in relationships where you compromise on things that you don’t really want to. Therefore, if you can learn to take yourself on solo-dates, the right person will come naturally. This way, you decrease your risk of forcing relationships or staying when there are red flags. Your future-self will thank you.

Conclusion | Self-dating & solo-dates

Learning to be alone in public is something that may take time. For some of you, it may be beyond terrifying. But ultimately, it’s something that will fill you with pride until one day it becomes second nature. Not being afraid to take yourself on dates is a superpower, and a powerful one at that.