Ever wonder what goes on inside programmers’ minds?

It’s not at all easy to code all night, especially alongside an infinite stream of Teams to humour watchful management. Yet they’re often stereotyped as nerdy computer handymen hacking in the corner, thus lacking social awareness of their cubicle surroundings. So, sometimes, all it takes to cheer them up is sharing a few programming jokes that will undoubtedly crackle them out of their cubic seats.

 


Compiling: Top 10 Programming Jokes.exe

It’s important to stray clear of domain-specific coding humour to appeal to a general audience. Hence we’ve sourced 10 of the most versatile programming jokes from our friends on the web.

coding humour, computer bug

1.  Debugging is akin to being the detective in a crime movie…

Where you're also the murderer.

Programmers frequently spend upwards of 80% of their time finding and (fingers crossed) resolving computer bugs. Usually of their own making!

2.  Programming is like sex.

One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Maintaining legacy software can be a gruelling task indeed.

3.  An int, a char and a string walk into a bar and order some drinks.

A short while later, the int and char overtly start hitting on the waitress who gets
uncomfrotable and leaves.

The string walks up to the waitress: "Please excuse my mates - they're primitive types."

Primitive data types are the building blocks of data structures. In general, there are 8 in total: boolean, byte, char, short, int, long, float and double. We’ll reference some of these data types later on as well.

4.  8 bytes walk into a bar…

The bartender asks: “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

A bit is the most basic unit of information in computing.

A byte is a unit of data comprising 8 bits. That is the typical number of bits necessary to encode a single text character.

A double is a data type comprising 64 bits, historically used to define numeric variables holding decimal numbers. And 64  ==  8 * 8.

5.  Define ‘Programmer’

Programmer  :=  A machine that churns coffee into code.

Sadly, a rather relatable definition.

6.  What do computers and air conditioners have in common?

They both become useless when you open windows.

There’s a tinge of UNIX superiority embedded here. Because real programmers don’t need silly GUI windows to execute their programs.

7.  Is 0 false and 1 true?

1.

Coding humour at one of its most fundamental. Because those numbers conventionally map to those truth values in many high-level languages, the boolean logic brusquely checks out.

8.  0 bottles of beer on the wall, 0 bottles of beer~

You take one down, and pass it around, 4294967295 bottles of beer on the wall!

A geeky variation of the reverse counting song 99 Bottles of Beer, dating back to the mid-20th Century. It’s also a common introductory exercise for beginners to program line-by-line lyrics of this field trip staple.

Typically, a signed integer datum uses 32 bits, thus it’s encoded in the range -2,147,483,647 to 2,147,483,647. Integers are “signed” in the sense that computers then have a way of interpreting negative values (depending on the parity of the first of those 32 bits).

And of course, there were 232  ==  4294967296 bottles of beer to start off with!

9.  99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs~

You take one down, and pass it around, 100 little bugs in the code!

Harks back to programming jokes #1. But it’s not even funny at this point as it’s invariably true – notoriously in group projects.

10.  There are 10 kinds of people…

Those that understand binary and those that don't.
Oh, and also those who didn't expect this joke to be in ternary.

There are two layers to this rather mathematical pun. The first being 10  ==  2  ==  (0 x 20) + (1 x 21), if we are working in base 2.

But 10  ==  3 in base 3. And so on…

 


Further Coding Humour

Found these jokes mildly intriguing and/or funny? Want to learn more about 1s and 0s in caffeine high mode all day? Then why not get snuck into bonus coding humour – starting with these YouTube channels!