Right! Listen up little fellas. We’ve got some amazing tips to help combat your small man syndrome traits. These tips won’t only calm you down, they’ll make you feel like a GIANT!

  1. Get yourself some orthopedic innersoles to slip into your shoes or trainers. Add an inch (to your height). Every inch counts.

  2. Buy slip-on flip-flops that are too small for you, to wear around the house. Every now and then look down at how GIANT your feet are.

  3. Ever wondered why Bradley Walsh from The Chase wears shirts with vertical stripes? Because he’s a short arse, just like you. So bust out some clothes with vertical stripes to resemble that skyscraper that you are.

  4. Whilst we’re thinking of tips backed by celebs, don’t cut you hair, and be like Jedward – no they’re annoying and not macho enough for you. What about Will Smith, from Fresh Prince of Belair – no way, too skinny, nowhere near muscular enough to match your sheer strength. Drago from Rocky IV, there you go. Hard as nails. You’d give Rocky a battering you would, but still lose.

  5. Rearrange everything at home so it’s lower. Complain about your backache, because you have to keep bending down, because you’re just so HUGE.

  6. Hang around with midgets.

  7. Don’t do any of these things because they’re stupid. Accept you’re a wee man and be happy about it. After-all, good things come in small packages.

We hope you like our small man syndrome tips to calm you down, and bring you back down to earth. It’s not as if you’re not already close enough to the ground.

Annoyingly, this article is finished, but the word count is less than 300 words. So I am writing a few extra sentences to pad the article out so Google likes it, there we go 300!